Day #17

Today was probably one of the hardest days for me so far. Let me tell you why...

Today a few of us woke up super early (5:30 am) to go see the sunrise. Our professor talked to us a bit and as we waited we were informed that only 10 tops 12 could fit in the van for safety reasons. Because I was one of the first ones there, I rushed into the van so I could secure a spot. As I see everyone get in, I see that Mary is not in the car. So I said "before anyone else gets in Mary needs to come in." I said this because people where not being fair and where putting people inwho woke up later and Mary had woken up as early as me. Some made some looks but Mary came along. It's sad how this group behaves at times specially the clicks that have formed through out this study abroad. 

Anyways, we all head up to this hill to see the sunrise hit Uluru/Ayers Rock. In case you didn't know this rock was formed over almost a billion years ago. It stands in the middle of the dessert and people all over the world come to see it.

At first it was dark and cold and but as soon as the sun came up you could see all the beautiful colors in the clouds. 

Here are some pictures....

After noticing that the clouds were not letting the sun shine much we decided to meet up with the rest of the group who at this point had traveled further away. 

So as we get to the area were the group was we (Angie, Mary and I) notice that Shawn is giving his presentation on Ayers Rock. It's unfortunate that no one bothered to let Angie Mary and I know but it's ok I can always do my own research when I get home.

So after a few very cold hours, we head to the Walking Uluru Tracks. At this point, I am a little nervous because it's a 6 mile (approximately 3-5 hours) walk around Uluru/Ayers Rock and I was not sure if my knee would manage. But since I was already in the car and my professor said they would take it slow I decided to get out and go with the group. 

20 minutes into the walk and everyone is walking ahead of Angie, Mary and I. As much as I tried to catch up I couldn't. So we start walking slower and slower and I did manage to take some really cool pics look...

Suddenly we hear.... dingos!!!!!! 

Btw in case you don't know this is what a dingo looks like...

I was so scared. Here is a wild animal and I'm in an area I don't know. All of a sudden my adrenaline kicks in and I start walking faster. As soon as I see I'm in a safe area and after a few pep talks by Angie, my adrenaline stops and I start feeling an immense pain in my knee. Not a surprise since I had been walking for about an hour an a half down this road...

Then I noticed this sign 

and realized that we were not even close to arriving! So I bust into tears. I just couldn't do it anymore and worst I didn't see a way out. But Angie reassured me that we were just around the corner so I kept pushing myself. 

I really tried hard but the more I pushed myself the more weak I got. Plus I was a bit lightheaded since I didn't have any water for fear of having to pee. FYI: We were in sacred land and there was NO bathroom around. 

Before I knew it I started singing "I Stand All Amazed." As I'm singing, I'm crying because I feel frustrated by the situation and I feel alone because my professor and my group are gone and because Angie and Mary where missing out on a lot because of me. 

Then we arrived at another post. This post informed us that we were in fact not around the corner but instead we were another hour and half away from our destination. I told Angie I couldn't do it anymore and she offered to give me a piggy back ride but because I was afraid my weight will exhaust her faster I declined. 

By this point, the pain was becoming harder to handle with every step I took. Just when I was ready to give up and stay behind I see a crossroad. One was a sidewalk near a road and the other a trail that lead us back to our meeting point. Mary so kindly offered to run the trail and inform the others that I was hurt and needed to be picked up.  But Angie wisely suggested that we stick together specially with wild dingos around. I mentioned that staying by the road was better because if we saw a car we could ask for a ride back to the meeting place. So we all agreed and continued to walk on the sidewalk. 

Almost immediately, two cars drive by but none stop. I'm getting angrier now. All I kept was "did the group not notice we are missing?!" "Do they not care?!"

Then one of our vans shows up and Angie is like "guys one of you needs to get off. Olga is hurting and needs to sit down" and NO ONE gets off. So I keep walking with tears in my eyes because I don't expect much from this group but this was disappointing on so many levels. 

After a while Angie comes back and says "I can't believe nobody got off!" And Mary is like "seriously I'm so mad!" 

Then after a couple of more minutes the same van came and this time I spoke to them with tears in my eyes and said "I will never forget what you guys did today. For an hour and half I have been walking in pain and seeing that I needed help none of you offered your seat. What you guys did today has hurt me deeply I hope you know that." And I walked away. 

I just started bawling after that and soon after the other van came to pick us up. All the while, I just kept thinking "did I make the right decision to come on this trip? What does the Lord want me to learn from this experience?!"

As soon as I got home I took off my shoes and laid in my bed. I just started crying uncontrollably and I kept thinking how much I wish I had my family with me or someone who truly cared about me. So I decided to put some hymns to calm me down. 

About half an hour later, I woke up and everyone was gone!

So I decided to go back to bed. 

After several hours of sleep, I got up and made some lunch and decided to pack my stuff just so I could be ready in case anything happened. 

As I'm getting everything ready I have a stronger desire to read my scriptures. On this trip I have learned to rely heavily on my Heavenly Father. 

As I'm reading my scriptures I'm connecting so many dots and seeing so many things in such a different light. 

Just FYI it's almost 6 and I have not heard from anyone and it's starting today to get dark outside. 

As I'm reading in my scriptures I come across these verses which really impacted me...

"Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee...""Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands" (1 Nephi 21:15-16)

That's when I knew Heavenly Father was aware of me and of my pain. I was not just hurting from my knee but also from the rejection I felt when the people in the can did not offer up a seat. 

Today was definitely rough but I did learn many life lessons. For example... 

1) In life, God will test us in big and small ways. Often, he will do this through people. He will place specific individuals to see just how much we love him (HF) and how willing we are to follow his two greatest commandments. Love him above all things and love thy neighbor. (D&C 59:5-6)(John 15:12-13) 

2) Most of us have heard about love. We see movies, we hear ballads, read books all proclaiming to speak about "love" and we believe it to be true. But the ONLY place where you can really come to learn about love is through the scriptures. Particularly, in the New Testament. In the New Testament The Lord Jesus Christ demonstrates what real love is like. He shoes is that real love is pure and everlasting. I love reading about the times Jesus Christ ate and mingled with those that were rejected by society. As you read about the way he interacted you can only try to imagine the love he felt for each individual. I've come to learn through life and this study abroad that loving someone is not conditional nor is it convenient. Love is sacrifice. Love is loving when it's hard to do so. Love is looking past the difference. Love is giving everything without expecting anything in return. That IS true love which is hard to develop but the most valuable treasure we will ever attain. 

3) Parents should teach 

good principles at home. (Mosiah 4:15) (Proverbs 22:6) (D&C 93:40)

4) Our actions wether good or bad ALWAYS have a consequence. 

5) The richess of the world are a blessing of Heavenly Father and they mean nothing to him. People matter to him. (Mark 10:17-22) (Matthew 25:40)

6) Forgiveness: It is not an easy process but it is possible with the help of the Lord. (Phill 4:13) I have a choice to make. I can choose to let my feelings of anger and resentment eat at me and potentially ruin my experience here or I can choose to forgive and let my wounds be heal by the power of my Heavenly Father. It is a tough choice and a choice that will forever shape my life but I know if I rely on my Heavenly Father he will give me strength I need to truly forgive.

7) The Lord understands our weaknesses and he knows the desires of our hearts. Time and time again, I struggle with the same issues like forgiveness, love and faith...but through out my life I cannot deny that the Lord has been there strengthening me in my endeavors. He has always seen my potential even when I cannot. I also know I have come this far only because of his grace and mercy and I testify that without him I would not be where I am now.  

With joy I bare you farewell. See you soon my dear friends and remember:

be safe, be courageous and above all be faithful! 

Xoxo,

Your traveling soul

Btw: along my hike I found this rock! I want to be like this rock in so many ways...

Strong, solid, different and bright!